Before I was diagnosed with cancer, I thought the only way for me to have a family (after losing most of my blood family) was through romantic relationships. The breakdown of these relationships during active treatment was upsetting, but eventually I saw that it was my friendships that made my family and that I had a large one. This song is about gaining freedom from compulsory romantic relationships and sex.
V1: You showed up like a pop song that’s everywhere until it’s gone.
And you didn’t do much for me but take the melody.
Sometimes I think I hear you at night out of the cars that drive by.
But I know you’re just singing lies. Now I wish I’d never learn the lines.
Chorus: Since I almost died I’ve been living more.
I don’t need your tears. I don’t need your door.
I don’t need an anchor anymore.
Since I almost died I’ve been living more.
V2: You thought you were a gift, but all I felt was loneliness.
That bell was always going to ring. Found out love means different things.
But I don’t have to get caught in blaming you for not.
You thought you burned down my house, but I found my own way.
Chorus
from
Not Dead Yet,
track released July 18, 2023
Rae Spoon - Vocals, Synths, Drum Programming, Guitar
Laurie Anne Torres - Synths
Evelyn Charlotte Joe - Bass Synth
Sarah Rossy - Vocals, Vocal Arrangements, Rhodes, Piano
Sorrel Mommi - Violin
Gem Hall - Harp
Cover Photo by Wynne Neilly
All Songs Written and Produced by Rae Spoon©2023 SOCAN
Bass, Synths, Keys, Vocals, Guitars recorded by Rae Spoon at Biome Studio
Vocals and Rhodes at Chex Ballsy recorded by Isabelle Banos in Montreal
Harp, Violin, Guitar and Vocals recorded by Grace Chiang at Echoplant in Vancouver
Piano, Vocals, Guitar and Organ recorded by Ky Brooke at Hotel 2 Tango in Montreal
Mixed by Branwen Munn
Mastered at CPS Mastering by Elisa Pangsaeng